A search for gay myth...


...And the first was a formless void. And Amun raised himself from the waters. By his will he raised him. And he raised himself in his hand. And to his fist made bright passion. Raising fire within himself, from himself and to himself. And Amun took his emanation and consumed it. And became father to himself. And he spat forth his fiery Semen, and it scattered the heavens, and from it the Gods where born, the Children of Amun-Ra...
(Egyptian creation myth)

...That which was before the Gods were...Before Diana split into herself and her brother, Lucifer, the Light... and the two embraced and were One...
(Wiccan Second legend of the Goddess)

...And in all of this...where am I?...
In the embrace of God and Goddess, where am I as a Gay man?

I am both and neither. Masculine and Feminine. I am one - yet more than these separates. I am Male and Female. Anima and Animus. I have sex and Gender - my body is male...yet science tells me that we are all conceived female. My genes are a unique conjoining of my mothers and fathers. X and Y. We all are.

But science now suggests I may be even more unique than that. My body may exhibit ablurring of the genders: biological structures that are different in men and women, in gay people may exhibit a middle...we may exhibit cross gender variations: structures in my brain may be more similar to those of a woman than of a man. Their work suggests my body may exhibit what my spirit has always known - I am Male, but also more: I can also be Female...

I am Gay. There may even be a Gay Gene. My physical may be a fusion - a manifestation of a 3rd gender...

The Physical is a manifestation of the Spiritual.
This I know.

I know I am different. I am more than an effeminate man. But I am not a Woman in a Mans body. Nor am I just a Man. I feel Me!
I understand Women - I love men!...but I also feel like a man.
But I feel uniquely Me - and unlike them - 
Straightmen and straightwomen.

At first I wondered if it was uniquely me. Or a social/cultural thing.
I feel men can meet their Anima and reconcile their 
feminine. Jung was right. Likewise women can manifest their Animus, and gain strength and Self from it.
But they are still 
Straight. They still relate externally. The Shadowy Self is still projected out to be understood. Sex for them is a meeting of opposites.

...I am Gay...

I relate to Women and Men - but neither: Sex is not with either straight gender, but with my own.
I understand Women and Men - but neither: their concerns are not mine - or only similar...but different...

Anima and Animus...All those myths of the Soul... I see myself in all the characters...and in none...

I watch the turn of the Solar year through the Sabbats, the turning Wheel, the pulse of life. I feel myself in the changes. I am transformed also. I watch the story unfold - the meeting of God and Goddess - their spiral dance of love and life and death...But I am in all the players...and none.

Wicca uses the Yesodic triangle - Malkuth, Hod, Netzach, and Yesod at the Centre. Do I express before this Triad, to Tipareth and beyond..? I can be Hods Hermaphrodite. Yesod's Feminine is within - my Anima bleeds, menstruates. Wicca happens out there. The God and Goddess are invoked and meet in bodies.
For me it happens in 

" that which thought seekest thou findest not within thee, thou shalt never find it without..."

The myths give us ideals, their stories tell us of the Self and the Souls journey...Father, lover, son...but can I embrace more than these separates?...

Where are the myths to take me beyond these?...

...Kether, the Tao, the Formless...

The unmanifest speaks closer to my understanding, yet I am manifest, embodied...

...The Crone, the Psychopomp, the Dark Maid,
the Bearded Goddess, the Emasculated...

In their blurring, their Pan-sexualandrogeny, these figures speak to me too...

...and in all of this, where am I?...

" am in the embrace of the Anima and Shadow,
the Union of Dark and Light,
Logic and Feeling,
Lance and Grail.
I am the double twined snakes."

She knows the desires of men - She is Desire:
" acts of Love and Pleasure.." what matters sex and gender!

I am the shadow, and the God, and the Lance.
I am the Anima, the Goddess, and the Grail.
I am their embrace
I am the Third.

I am there at their Union - and so is She and He.
The Gods aren't People - they transcend Gender! Sex is their reflection;
maybe for some of us we reflect a little more of both sides!

But it is their Union that matters. From this stems life.
And I can be that Union.

And so can you:

"MAGICK is for ALL"

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